...OF THE ESTEEMED LORD ESSEK THELYSS (UN: SHADOWHAND), FIRST OF THEIR NAME, HAILING FROM THE REALM OF CRITICAL ROLE, RESIDING, AT PRESENT, IN THE GRAND CRESENT. SINGLE.
"For the better, apparently. Also, she has quit the police force, which I do approve of, but it says something about the state of Gallery that she doesn't feel it can be improved from within."
That isn't the part that bugs her the most, of course. Besides...
"The state of Gallery's irrelevant, here. The awkwardness of information imbalance isn't. I don't know how much I want to know, about those two years."
Essek nods, feeling empathy for the woman, because he is not in an entirely dissimilar position with Jester.
"My friend Jester is from my future as well, I find it.. uncomfortable to know she knows things about myself that I cannot know, yet.." he stops by a beautiful blue hydrangea bush, running his thumb over one of the petals carefully. "I asked her only to tell me if things were okay between myself and my friends. She assured me.. said that even Caleb and myself visit often. I did not ask further as I may never be that person since I do not know how much my time here will change who I am when I return," if they return.
"My advice is to figure what - if anything - is important enough to inquire about, otherwise reacquaint yourself with the people you are now."
"That is where I thought I'd stand on the matter, but I feel like I'm blindfolded and walking through a field littered with rabbitholes. And she's absolutely incapable of hiding her feelings."
Which is something she usually admires about Crabb. But it makes not learning things hard for someone like Ducky.
He can understand that feeling. At times Jester gets frustrated with him and Caleb for not being from the time she is from, for being cautious around each other still, for not being further along in this repairing of a relationship.
It's difficult and makes him sometimes choose to avoid her when it comes to Caleb.
"Then take it one careful, felt out step at a time. That or ask," there was not much else for it to be between the two unfortunately. "At the very least, you find her trustworthy yes? Then she is unlikely to be intentionally false." Anything from one person's perspective is liable to have things inaccurate.
"Singularly worthy of trust. She's...good, Essek. Morally upstanding in a way I used to think no one could be. I once said there was no man who couldn't be compromised. She's no man, though."
Of course, there's so much she's not saying there, about how she sees herself in comparison. Ducky is not morally upstanding, and one of the parts of this situation that is screwing with her the most is the idea of having Crabb's trust and approval and friendship, without knowing how she earned it.
"And you find yourself at a loss for how your relationship has progressed as it has?" He feels that way about Jester. How did she forgive him - maybe he should wonder if he ever lost her trust.
"Such people can be.." he lets out a wistful breath, as if searching for the words before the right ones settle in his chest, "so agonizingly striking, altering you to your very core. Perhaps she was your influence to change?"
He understands, he is not a good person either - never has been, yet somehow the Nein inspired him with mere friendship and trust to at least attempt such things. To learn to have a moral compass that he's never cared to have before now.
"Or perhaps I have her fooled into thinking I've changed." The fact that this is a genuine concern from where Ducky's standing really does say something. She pauses, looking at Essek quietly for a moment.
"You truly do understand the matter, don't you? I thought you might be a kindred spirit, but I didn't realize how deep it might go."
He can understand that concern as well. But if he can change this much in a matter of months, he can imagine Ducky getting dragged into similar circumstances with her own better person after years.
"Indeed, there's something lonely about it all, is there not? Easy to get swept up in the comradery and trust those better than us offer," it doesn't feel deserved, maybe even something used against them at first, but then it changes and it's striking.
From that comment, Ducky intuits Essek didn't have a close partner in his work, the way she'd had Mimley. A mirror tilted to another angle, but perhaps similar means.
"I'm not the person she knows yet, and perhaps I never will be, here. This place might require me to keep my sharpest edges. To work using the twisted means she always hated."
"This place I believe needs a mix of right and wrong to overcome, subterfuge and standing upright. Perhaps you are assuming the worst of yourself because you are finding fault in comparison."
He gives her a long look as they start to walk through the gardens again, offering her a plucked hydrangea that is of a more muted purple. "Do not think you need to be brightly colored to be appreciated."
He thinks on it for a long moment, breathing in the floral scents that dance on the air around them. They are sun warm and soft, unlike anything back in Rosohna or the Biting North.
"Not particularly, but I do not believe anything is impossible. Perhaps we need to think from outside ourselves more.."
Maybe ask one of the other gods when they show for help. Pheme is clearly not the only one, she couldn't even stop the man child of a god that flooded them.
"Perhaps. And there's still plenty of unknowns and information to gather, here." And that is what she's good for, isn't it? "There's a thought I've had about how Thumos is a power source, and we need more of it to make any moves."
Casting the most subtle of glances around, he sees that his own servant is a modest distance away, out of ear shot but not eyesight, no one else seems close enough to listen in. He doesn't trust the servants, they most obviously work for Pheme.
With a lowered voice, "And yet everything here costs it, she keeps our reserves crippled by taxing us for basic living, even my magic costs thumos. We will need great quantities to overcome the basic need of it."
“Speaking of business, I plan to open one, with the support of a male sponsor to lend my work legitimacy. Nothing too fancy, but something that will be of use to both locals and our sort.”
A central location for her to gather the gossip from.
“The highest quality tallow candles, soaps and shoe polish I can produce. The fort I moved into had sufficient space for a proper still room, and I’ve begun working on recipes for things people might need.”
Except for, you know, wizards who have prestidigitation and light spells.
“I may even do boot care personally. It was one of my most relaxing chores when working for Sir Mimley.”
"Then count me in as a customer for your soaps and polishes, unfortunately candles are unnecessary for myself as I have the keen eyes of my people," he waves his hand as if it's something obvious.
He was now thinking over what he might have in the means of skill that would be marketable for thumos.
"I'll remember that, about your eyes." Look, her world lacks drow; she hadn't fully parsed all the ways he was different, beyond the magic thing in general.
"But I'll set aside some of my best soaps for you, certainly. I'm trying to find the perfect recipe for lavender scented bars."
"Excellent, you can already count me as a loyal customer, Ms. Ducky."
He does pause and think about if he should explain his eyes further and really, there are not many he feels as comfortable with as he does Ducky.
"My people once lived underground, because of this, our vision in the dark is very keen, but.. we are maladjusted to the sun," he jostles his parasol very carefully. Even in a trees shade he is still using the object to cast himself in a deeper shade.
"Neither, though the flowers are beautiful. I know humans like their sunlight and the protection it offers," it is not strange to feel safer when you can see because it is daylight. He did this more for her comfort than his own, afterall she is the one feeling vulnerable due to her circumstances and being open with him.
"Besides, I can make due with the shade of the parasol. It is a boon they are in fashion here, else I might stick out."
"In this, I may not be a typical human. I've always made my home in the shadows and secret places, Essek. I'm most comfortable when I'm hidden, a fault of my nature."
Or of nurture, but she doesn't quite feel ready to tell Essek about her Uncle Salazar and Family Desisto.
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That isn't the part that bugs her the most, of course. Besides...
"The state of Gallery's irrelevant, here. The awkwardness of information imbalance isn't. I don't know how much I want to know, about those two years."
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"My friend Jester is from my future as well, I find it.. uncomfortable to know she knows things about myself that I cannot know, yet.." he stops by a beautiful blue hydrangea bush, running his thumb over one of the petals carefully. "I asked her only to tell me if things were okay between myself and my friends. She assured me.. said that even Caleb and myself visit often. I did not ask further as I may never be that person since I do not know how much my time here will change who I am when I return," if they return.
"My advice is to figure what - if anything - is important enough to inquire about, otherwise reacquaint yourself with the people you are now."
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Which is something she usually admires about Crabb. But it makes not learning things hard for someone like Ducky.
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It's difficult and makes him sometimes choose to avoid her when it comes to Caleb.
"Then take it one careful, felt out step at a time. That or ask," there was not much else for it to be between the two unfortunately. "At the very least, you find her trustworthy yes? Then she is unlikely to be intentionally false." Anything from one person's perspective is liable to have things inaccurate.
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Of course, there's so much she's not saying there, about how she sees herself in comparison. Ducky is not morally upstanding, and one of the parts of this situation that is screwing with her the most is the idea of having Crabb's trust and approval and friendship, without knowing how she earned it.
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"Such people can be.." he lets out a wistful breath, as if searching for the words before the right ones settle in his chest, "so agonizingly striking, altering you to your very core. Perhaps she was your influence to change?"
He understands, he is not a good person either - never has been, yet somehow the Nein inspired him with mere friendship and trust to at least attempt such things. To learn to have a moral compass that he's never cared to have before now.
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"You truly do understand the matter, don't you? I thought you might be a kindred spirit, but I didn't realize how deep it might go."
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"Indeed, there's something lonely about it all, is there not? Easy to get swept up in the comradery and trust those better than us offer," it doesn't feel deserved, maybe even something used against them at first, but then it changes and it's striking.
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"I'm not the person she knows yet, and perhaps I never will be, here. This place might require me to keep my sharpest edges. To work using the twisted means she always hated."
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He gives her a long look as they start to walk through the gardens again, offering her a plucked hydrangea that is of a more muted purple. "Do not think you need to be brightly colored to be appreciated."
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"Do you think overcoming a goddess is a goal that is possible to achieve?"
It's a slight subject change, but a valuable one. Her world doesn't have gods who take an active hand in matters.
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"Not particularly, but I do not believe anything is impossible. Perhaps we need to think from outside ourselves more.."
Maybe ask one of the other gods when they show for help. Pheme is clearly not the only one, she couldn't even stop the man child of a god that flooded them.
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With a lowered voice, "And yet everything here costs it, she keeps our reserves crippled by taxing us for basic living, even my magic costs thumos. We will need great quantities to overcome the basic need of it."
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She shakes her head slightly.
“Good for them. We need people like that aligned with us.”
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"Yes, if we can also generate business among ourselves more, we might be able to amass more instead of it going towards the locals and our kind lady."
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A central location for her to gather the gossip from.
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He would need to accumulate thumos to afford anything, but he would nonetheless be happy to to support their local accumulation.
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Except for, you know, wizards who have prestidigitation and light spells.
“I may even do boot care personally. It was one of my most relaxing chores when working for Sir Mimley.”
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He was now thinking over what he might have in the means of skill that would be marketable for thumos.
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"But I'll set aside some of my best soaps for you, certainly. I'm trying to find the perfect recipe for lavender scented bars."
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He does pause and think about if he should explain his eyes further and really, there are not many he feels as comfortable with as he does Ducky.
"My people once lived underground, because of this, our vision in the dark is very keen, but.. we are maladjusted to the sun," he jostles his parasol very carefully. Even in a trees shade he is still using the object to cast himself in a deeper shade.
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She appreciates that he takes the time to explain; it's a mark of kindness.
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"Besides, I can make due with the shade of the parasol. It is a boon they are in fashion here, else I might stick out."
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Or of nurture, but she doesn't quite feel ready to tell Essek about her Uncle Salazar and Family Desisto.
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